Thursday, July 26, 2012

Miss me?

I don't handle stress very well.

My patience level, which is not exactly a deep reservoir, becomes as thin and as strong as a sheet of cheap toilet paper.  This particular trait makes me so enjoyable to be around.  Yes, that's sarcasm.  That's another stress-induced trait that rears its ugly head.  This lack of patience and overabundance of sarcasm have led me into a couple of frustrating situations recently.  I hate this.

I'm not ending well.

I had hoped that this would be a bittersweet transition into the next phase of our lives, but right now it just feels like I want to pack up and quietly slip away.  Sadly, I'm not sure I'd be missed.

Some of the stressors are legitimate, and I frequently excuse myself with these, but my inability to refrain from contentious responses are all me.  I see a opening and regardless of my real opinion, I interject an argument.  My husband is truly appreciative of this mighty skill I have.  Especially on a Sunday morning on the way to church.

I'm not sure what I need to do right now about this.  God and I have had some talks, but I'm still tripping all over it.  Sometimes I think I just need to pull up my big-girl panties and realize that everyone is not as enlightened as I am I only have control over myself and I have the power of self-control.  God said so.  I don't have to agree with everyone, but I can respond lovingly or even choose to refrain from responding in an effort to keep the peace.

I wish I were a person who was missed.
Maybe it's not too late.

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