Sunday, May 29, 2011

O.K., this first picture is just for the posterity thing since I mentioned I'd be getting a new 'do!  I really do like it!  It's given me a lift that I didn't anticipate.  I actually feel like getting ready and take a little pride in myself.  I was getting a little "blah" about myself and such, so this was a good pep up.

A week ago, my husband and I went out to a local lake and spent a quick night out camping.
We've been sensing some changes in our plans, and it was feeling a little overwhelming.  We needed a get-a-way from real life for a little reflection and reminder that God does have it all under control.  Interesting that being away from all the comforts of life and out in His creation can give you that clear perspective. Makes one wonder how much those comforts cloud our hearts and minds.
I'm so thankful that we were able to get away and decompress.  It was good to breathe in the calm and serenity.

Unfortunately, the week came and work was the usual thing and the house still hasn't sold and this and that.  I still struggle with the waiting for what God must have planned.  I wish I could just close my eyes, hear the loons calling over the water and be filled with that sense of calm.  Sometimes it just eludes me.  This limbo that I live in gets old and tiresome.  Dare I say I need roots?

Let's not get too far ahead of myself!

Let's just say I want a glimpse of what is really ahead.  I have been waiting for a while now.  A whole 14 months.  Wow.  That sounds so slight when I compare it to the 3, almost 4 years a friend of mine has waited to bring her son home tomorrow.

I've been learning so much about the power of thanksgiving.  It's a popular topic, and I haven't jumped on the bandwagon, but rather feel dragged along by it.  Kicking and screaming.  I'm trying, but it is so hard.  God has shown me that many of His answers come after a time of thanksgiving.  While I don't want to employ any type of magical formula to God, I realize that He does things on purpose, and this pattern may hold more than just a final wish known.  Perhaps in this journey of looking for that which I am thankful, I will realize how full my life is and pine less for what I wish.
I hear them...if I try.

Friday, May 6, 2011


It was time for me to refresh.  The blog and myself.

I made a hair appointment.  I plan on spending a ridiculous amount of money on my hair.  I absolutely hate to do it (really), but this "blah" feeling has got to change!  I think it's time to change it up and I can't do it myself.

Sounds like the rest of my life.  I need to make some long-term changes that I can't do myself.  I've somehow let myself gain some habits that I don't like and don't help me.  Most of these are mental habits.  I realized that my thought patterns are different than they used to be.  I used to be extremely flexible and rarely stressed over anything (to my husband's utter dismay).  I had very little fear in life.

Now I'm afraid.  I'm afraid that things will stay the same.  I am very strange in this, I know, but I've never loved "stability."  I've loved the constant change in life and the new challenges that bring new learning.  The limbo that we are in right now with the waiting of our house to sell (13 months now) is frustrating.  I feel boxed in, closed up, claustrophobic, powerless.

My plan (thanks to the prompting of friends' suggested reading and other ways of the Holy Spirit) is to actually employ the tactics that I have been avoiding for months.  Counting my blessings.  Praising the Lord.  Being grateful.  In other words, being pro-active against my "Eve-Complex."

As spiritual as it all sounds, I still need a physical jump-start!  Thus, my hair appointment next Thursday.

A fresh start.