I know. It's past Monday. I didn't make it. I don't really have any good reasons except that I didn't make it a priority yesterday!
Actually, I was in a feeling of being rushed all day. I accidentally slept in and had 45 minutes to get up, take care of the dogs and my plants, get my lunch, (oh and get ready), and head out the door. I had forgotten to ask/tell my employers that I would be a bit late due to a meeting I had, so I left a note on the door of the office. I felt a bit immature and foolish. Ah well. Humility.
Speaking of, I think I'll have to really practice that trait this coming week. I've been blessed (yes, the kind that brings me in closer relationship with Christ) to bring myself down and soften my heart. My dad is coming up on Thursday to visit for a week. We plan to go camping in Denali for the first few days - just us two. My marvelous man could not join us due to his now busy work schedule, for which we are thankful. At first I was not remotely happy about this turn of events, but the last couple weeks, God has placed in me the excitement and desire to go. We will likely have marginal weather, but that's what makes for good memories, right?!
I am glad I have allowed the Lord to work in me lately. Why do I insist on "putting my foot down," when it makes me miserable? It is so freeing to let the Lord take the burdens and just enjoy the filling of His love. I am learning to love without loving the actions of others. Easier said than done, and I am by no means finished. I'd say I'm in the elementary lessons. Considering my love of learning, I have to admit that I don't particularly love being in the elementary class. I fancy myself much higher. (I have been a Christian most of my life, after all!) Oh how Christ corrects our lofty thoughts of ourselves.
Studying the sermon on the mount has been very pointedly showing me my tendencies for Pharisitical heart-attitudes. Deep down I pride myself on my extensive knowledge of scripture and it's theological implications. I have always enjoyed my "deep" conversations about theology with my brothers, specifically. This type of conversation is not wrong, but when I use my knowledge to, even secretly, lord it over others, it has corrupted me. I am no better than anyone else. I began to sing the old Psalty song that I remembered as a child, "Make me a Servant." (Charity Church mouse sang it in a very fitting story line, if you don't remember!) It was so amazing. So hard. So good.
Make me a servant,
humble and meek.
Lord, let me lift up,
those who are weak.
And may the prayer of my heart always be:
Make me a servant, today.
I pray that throughout this next week (and everyday, really) that I would be made into a servant.