I guess I didn't feel like being broken. I thought that if I held myself together with my list of complaints and rationalizations, it would feel better. Maybe it would have, but only if you are willing to be broken can you experience healing.
I just finished this book and it was everything I had thought it would be. Katie's story is really pretty simple: she said "yes" to Jesus. It's not an easy story, parts of it are excruciating, hilarious, disgusting, and beautiful. It is a real and honest look at the costs and joy of following Jesus for one particular person.
Not everyone's journey of following Jesus will look like Katie Davis', but reading about her story and how her realizations of how American materialism takes the need for Jesus away struck a chord. We live in a time and place where if we need something, we go get it. I am especially guilty of this. When the Autumn season arrives, my husband and I have to consciously stop buying things we want for the sole purpose of leaving something for gifts. I haven't ever had to rely on Jesus to provide my needs, though He does. I know we rationalize our feelings here by saying that God gave us our jobs and we do them well, and that is how He provides. Yes, that's true, but that scenario relies heavily on my own power. I've never been in a place where Jesus was the only option. There is a part of me that desires that level of closeness with Jesus, then honestly, there is the selfish part of me (a way bigger and stronger part) that sees the costs and wonders if its worth it. Then I remember how dissatisfied I am with my cushy life and wonder if its worth it not to follow Jesus with complete and utter abandon.
I read Katie's story, and it has given me an even greater sense of anticipation of what God has for us next. I do sense that God will move us. I don't know where or when, or really even for sure. I now have more assurance that it will be hard, excruciating even, hilarious, disgusting, and beautiful. It will be worth it.
