Hanging Out

I don't really have a concise quip for this one.  Something that makes you go "huh!"

I am in a season of anticipation.  I am so ready to start the next stage of our lives, yet so unprepared.  I am wanting to soak up as much family time as I can, yet savoring the time to myself.  I feel the need to educate myself, and also to leave room for being taught.

I know God is preparing me for all the future contrasts I will encounter.  He is giving me the opportunity in this familiar environment to work through some of this.  I am not too sure I'm doing a great job though.  I know that I have things to do, but I know that the work will be inevitable, so I am leaning toward the soft comforts now.  I don't think it will serve me well in the end!

Perhaps I am like the shoes: meant for pounding the pavement, but hanging out and enjoying the view - at least until it rains!

Quick Note...

OK people. You prayed too much!
My husband called and had me pick him up at the airport at noon yesterday. It's a mixed blessing, as it means he is home, but now not working again. Fortunately, he did pick up a side job that may last a week or so! God is still providing our daily bread and we are still thankful!
Of course, this also means he has me out helping him and preventing me from spending too much time on the computer! On that note, I'd better get supper on the table!

Fly Away

I'm feeling a bit lost tonight. I took my husband to the little airport (airstrip really) and watched as the small plane flew away with him in it. I am so thankful for the work that God has provided that I don't want to complain about any of it. I will miss him when he's gone. He flew across the inlet to an oil camp to work. It's not any set schedule, so I don't exactly know when I will see him again. I don't imagine it will be longer than 3 weeks, but I hope it's sooner.

The first couple days are the hardest.

This is one of the reasons we are doing the NEED LESS PROJECT. If we didn't have a mortgage, it wouldn't matter if there was no work locally. We could hold out for the work that is here.

To make matters "worse", the puppies we've had for the last 8 weeks will be all in their new homes by tomorrow. That is actually a great answer to prayer, but I have to admit, I'll miss their little faces and silly antics. It will just be me and my two dogs!

I almost lost it today when, standing on the gravel just outside the airstrip office, my very much missed husband hugged me and prayed with me. I really, really love that man. He has been growing in Christ and I feel so honored to be his wife. I often hear parents talk about how their kids give them reasons to be better people. I feel that way about my husband. He has helped me grow in so many ways, not the least in my relationship with Christ.

My husband didn't leave me alone. He left me in the care of the One who is most able to care for me. I will be glad when he comes home, though!

Who's the Boss?

(Sorry, no homage to the 80's sitcom.)

It was a warmer day today. It's in the double digits and it looks to be in the 20's even! This is important due to the siding project we've been after all week. We've been painting the siding/trim inside our heated garage and installing it once it's dry. Our last pieces just happen to be the most difficult pieces to place: the soffits. We have an incredibly steep pitch and it won't be super fun, even though it's my husband who will be up the ladder. We do have a real ladder and not the "ladder of death" that had been in use during the construction of the garage (2x4's nailed together to form a ladder). I find some relief in that fact.

This project has revealed in me my intense desire not to be bossed around. Being a 2nd child, I was often placed under the authority of my older sister. Not until she went to college did I get to be the boss, and even then, it was only for 2 years until I went as well. It's probably a good thing I was not born first. I REALLY like to be the boss. Just ask my younger brothers. Wait. Please don't.

I was reminded of how much I have always liked to be in control. I think I was around 6 or 7 when I decided I would be better off on my own. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess it was due to the fact I was being told to do something that I didn't like. I don't actually remember that part. Well, off I went carrying some provisions I imagine. I began my journey down our driveway to find my little brother tailing me and asking if he could come with me. I really couldn't be burdened with such a task, so I tried my best to discourage his desires. I believe it came down to literally losing him in the corn field that flanked our driveway at that time. Oh, now I was free! I was imagining my mom feeling heartbroken at the thought of me gone forever. If only she had just left me alone and relieved me of my chores, I may have just stayed. I just knew I'd gotten to her with this one. Picture Ralphie in a Christmas Story thinking of his parents distress at having poisoned him blind by soap! I had no real idea of where I was going or what I'd do, but I just knew I had to leave. (Insert dramatic flair heavily!)

My guess of what happened at home goes a little like this: my brother goes home crying that I was being mean to him and that he was scared after getting lost in the corn. My mom then soothes my brother and likely laughs and sighs at the same time trying to think of whatever she will do with me. I imagine she may have called my Aunt who lived a mile and a half away on our country dirt roads and asked her to call her when I got to her house. I think this, because when I passed their house and got to the corner, ready to trek down the pavement, my mom just so happened to drive up. She nonchalantly opened the door and asked what I was doing. I, not going to give up my plans so easily, told her I was simply going for a walk. With a few provisions. She mentioned that they were going into town for some errands and ice cream and wondered if I'd like to go along.

Oh dear. You know, walking that far was making me hungry. A bit of ice cream would be nice. Maybe I'll hold off the running away for a bit. At least until after the ice cream. I climbed in the car. While we were eating the ice cream, Mom did mention that my brother was scared and it wasn't very nice to make him lost. I think I remember some other mention of how it wouldn't be very nice to run away either. I think I may have tuned that part out a little and drowned it with ice cream. Sorry, Mom.

I still have a hard time admitting that my way isn't necessarily the right way. I tend to question the different options as a way to suggest that if it was just done the way I said, it would be easier, and I can't imagine a better way of doing something. Unfortunately, my husband will occasionally do something my way and show me my error. Only after that does he explain why his way was the better option. Why do I need such a visual?

I am so often trying to "do life" my way. I am feeling a bit like I've just crawled into the car and my excitement for "ice cream" may eventually be the motivational tool God uses to really change my course. I'm glad I got into the car. I can't wait to see where we go! I just hope my excitement carries me through the difficult times that will inevitably come. I know I'll have some talking-to's that will continue to adjust my heart attitude. I'll probably have moments where God will allow me to do it my way and later show me how His way was actually the better option. But I'm still glad I got into the car.

Now, two scoops! Oh...and...uh...please?!

Ups and Downs

It was best of times, it was the worst of times.
It's been a weird time, these last couple weeks.
The great news, is that our fundraising for my sister's adoption is going well! If you are interested in helping support their adoption expenses and receive a gorgeous piece of iron art made from my extremely talented husband, just leave a comment! He is continually expanding and creating! I'm so incredibly excited to pass this blessing on to my sister and her family.
The very disappointing news, is that their referral has still not come. It has been heartbreaking to see more and more people receive their referral only to have my sister not receive hers. I am thrilled for the other people, and I know that my sister's wait is not nearly as long as others, but that doesn't diminish the difficulty. I don't know exactly how it works, but I think my heart hurts almost as much as hers. It's a bit different, as I want to know who this little boy is, but I also hurt for her. All I do know is that there is a little boy who is very specifically chosen by God to be their son, and it's taking a little longer to connect those dots by those here on earth. We just have to rest in knowing that God is indeed working!
On the positive side, our dog has had her puppies and has 9 healthy little ones! They are almost cute, but you may know, newborn puppies are rarely cute. They tend to be a little rodent-like. In a couple weeks when their eyes are open, they will be much cuter!
On the negative, I have not been getting much sleep. I have been awakened by puppy sounds about every 2-3 hours. Do I need to get up every time? Well, we have lost a puppy due to being laid on, so yes, I do. I do not want to go through that again. It was sad. I felt like I'd let it happen. Oh, and it also smells. Puppies don't always smell good - just like babies. They have the same bodily functions that are apparently quite healthy and regular. They also don't avoid it, so it ends up being all over, well, all over. Yes, icky. I'm doing much laundry. Have I mentioned that having puppies has never been my favorite? Yes, that doesn't help my negative emotions about having to get up multiple times at night, cleaning up poo, and getting all the paperwork ready for the impending sales blitz. Fortunately, they are labs which are so stinking cute, they practically sell themselves.
My fabulous esposo is still not on a regular work schedule, but he is definitely working. God has provided for our daily bread and also provided a way to help others. We have had such a period of growth learning to trust God for our provisions and not rely on our own ways. It has also given us more perspective on what is really ours (roughly nothing) and how we can use what we've been given, to honor Him. What could have been a real negative has become an amazing positive.
On a funny note, last week when my man was out working in another town (on a boat, no less), was when a nasty storm hit. It snowed 6 inches and then began to rain. Not a good combo with overhead power lines and trees. Our electricity went out and long story short, I was without power or heat (wood or electric) all day. The candles against the mirror was my lighting for the evening since our sun sets at 3:30. It was lovely, but chilly. I hadn't been more thankful for electricity! Fascinating that these things happen when "alone!" Fortunately, that was before the puppies came, also when I was alone.
I have to admit, in conjunction with the lack of meaningful sleep, I'm being hit with the "winter blues." It happens up here. The "Land of the Midnight Sun" also is the "land of the mid-day sunset." The latter much less exciting, though less obnoxious than the former! I love winter and the snow and crystallized trees today were breathtaking. Literally. It was too cold to yawn or breathe deeply! It's a tough couple months, December and January, with the lack of sunlight for me. I have a Happy Lite, so I hope it will be an effective tool! That and sleep!
A random up and down post, I know. Just a little opening up, just in case your days aren't all up and cheery either. But I hope to keep remembering all the positives and keep the blessings God has given in the forefront of my "thought closet!"

My Masculine Monday

We finished our study on mattering and I am reflecting on one of the things that the author pointed out: women tend to measure their worth in "masculine" terms. This means that we create a checklist of things accomplished in a day and find worth in the amount of items or type of things done, as opposed to finding more value in the emotional or relational things that women are usually drawn to. This discrepancy can lead to women feeling less valuable or that the things we do don't matter as much. This is obviously a generality.

Today I had a marvelously masculine mattering Monday!

I didn't start out too jazzed, and fell asleep on the couch after my handsome hubby left for work. After dragging myself around and getting the dogs fed, I went outside. This was about 8:30 AM. I didn't come back inside until noon, and only to feed myself and get a load of laundry going. I came back inside at 4:30 PM. I finally had enough sun and forced myself to come in to fix dinner and get some house work done. What did I do outside, you ask? Oh, let me share!
I took the dogs for a long walk in the woods, which was good for my still-sore muscles from our 12.5 mile hike on Saturday. We came back and loaded up in the canoe, just Bella and I (Rowdy swam), to hack down some of the lily pads that are invading our pond. No, they are not pretty. Clear water to reflect the scenery is pretty, just so we are on the same page. I see the rabbit.
I often get distracted when I am outside by the sight of my greenhouse and must go in and visit my plants. I desperately need to photograph them as they are practically perfect in every way. A little Mary P. for y'all. After giving the thirsties their fill, I had to start on stacking the firewood near the house. We have a little stack that is on the porch for early morning fires - yes we still start them. Why not? Oh, you are hot down there? Forgot. That's too bad. (note sarcasm here!)
Oh the rabbits.
After stacking the new pile, which came from a junk wood stack that was down a hill that a wheelbarrow couldn't go, by the way, I moved on to another little project. I found one of those weed wacker things at a garage sale a couple months ago and just had to get it. It's those hand-held bushwack things that you swing and it swaths the weeds away. I have no idea what they are called. So much for my gardening knowledge. Anyway, I pulled that out and had my way with a few dandelions that were taunting me. I also had the last word (or maybe not) with the cottonwood suckers that are popping up in an old wildflower bed. All this while trying not to swing and hit my dogs who were sweetly playing/hunting in the yard, or my feet.
Deciding that this was not enough to kill me, I moved on to the main project of the day which required me to change into shorts and a tank top! Oh, yes. I had to go and find them in a storage tote and fortunately they still fit me (not bad for not wearing them in 3 years!). I changed and took my reflective self outside to soak in the rays as I continued my bank bed. Remember that one I showed before? Yeah, I've done a bit more. I'll have pictures someday. You'll just have to read about it and imagine all the loveliness before I burst your bubble and show the reality. I'm still proud. It is a ton of work. Pretty close, anyway if you weighed all the wheelbarrow's full of "sod" (if you count weedy, weak, half-dead grass, sod) and dirt that I hauled. I haven't finished it, but I did another fair sized section. Oh, and that reflective self forgot to put on sunscreen and now has a bit of pink. I'm usually quite proud of my cancer-free skin and avoid tanning beds (sunbathing is not so common up in these parts but the beds are as common as the coffee houses), but this bit of sun felt like heaven. It was crazy to feel the sweat drip down off my forehead. Shorts! Apparently, my nose and shoulders must be huge and shaded out my legs completely. They are still reflective.
Anywho, my list of accomplishments go on to include making lasagne for dinner, with rhubarb crisp for dessert. Oh, and the kitchen counter (I only have one) is totally clean, the dishes are clean and the diswasher was unloaded and put away! The table isn't completely covered either, which is saying something. We won't talk about the floor - I can't do everything, gosh!
I did more than I thought I'd do today, but didn't get much on my original list done. I still must email my group and soak my hands in Vaseline. Scratch that last one. It seems the scratchy hands make nice back scratchers for husbands.

I know I wasn't very relational today, but golly, I felt like I got a ton of work done! It really only matters to me and my dogs who benefitted greatly today. I hope God got a kick out of me today. I regret to admit that I didn't thank Him for any of it until I was finally in the shower, washing His creation off of His other creation. I think He still saw me and it made Him glad. I thoroughly enjoyed my Monday!