Refreshment

I'm back in Kansas again!
It has been hot.
Today is absolutely perfect - 78 degrees and thunderstorms!

 Did I mention we have been able to see our N&N's?!  Not all, but 11.5 of them! (one more on the way!)

Our first day was full of hugs, and we have already had a chance to mingle and play a little Bocce with them!

This is part of why I wanted to be here.  It has been a fun welcoming.  Because lives are busy, it will be interesting to see how much I'll be able to stretch myself to watch all the football, soccer, tennis, and basketball games.

I also hope I can refuel my spirit.  I hunger for the type of relationships I've had before here, and also in AK, that can give me perspective, growth, and encouragement.  I am a little concerned for myself for the move to Africa, and I hope to cultivate relationships very intentionally that will continue through my time there.  This sounds very selfish, but I also hope to be involved in others' lives to keep myself from becoming self-absorbed.  I've learned this from a new friend I met this summer who happens to live in China right now.  (She was in Alaska this summer, to avoid confusion!)   I hope I can reach out and make this time work.  I am discovering some frustration with our single car issue, but I think God can work around that!

We have already felt some reach out to us and felt encouraged back into our former church.  I am ready and excited to drink this tall cool glass of refreshment!

Avalanched!

 This is what we came home to after church today.  Seriously?  Seriously.  I just started to laugh.  Because if I don't I'll go crazy.  This year I have been trying to find ways to get through winter without getting my increasingly worse Winter Blues.  I have been taking vitamin D for a year now, I have a new job that has worked out pretty well for me so far, and I'm getting more involved in our church!  I have had such growing hope this winter!  And then this:

 Do you ever feel like when you are doing everything you can, it all falls in on you anyway?  You dig out and scoop it all clean, but then the roof clears and it all falls back in.

I won't pretend that my life is that hard.  I know many people have so much more on their plates than I do.  Actually, I have it incredibly easy.  Too easy, sometimes.  I know that I deal with some physiological things, the snow that falls, but not taking steps to combat it when I know it's coming would be like refusing to get a shovel; just hoping that it's not too deep to walk through.  This year, I have the shovel and boots, but it seems there is just more snow than ever.  It's harder.  But it's possible.

Just when I think I want to quit shoveling and just let the snow fall over me, God sends me a little bit of hope.  That Light that refuses to be completely submerged.  This week I was asked to coffee by two different people (on the same morning even!), and somehow God knew I really needed that feeling of being pursued.  That little bit of encouragement gave me the desire to pick up the shovel and keep going.

Spring will come.  It always does.  In the meantime, I hope I'm as willing to reach out to others and pass that Light on.

Catch and Release

An excerpt from Same Kind of Different as Me by Ron Hall & Denver Moore that hit me square in the heart. As you finish, think about what Jesus said about being Fishers of Men and about being intentional about forming friendships with someone that is outside of your comfort zone. That's what I thought of. That and a whole ton more that can't really be put into words. Bloom Book Club selection #2! Wow.

"There's somethin I heard 'bout white folks that bothers me, and it has to do with fishin."

He was serious and I didn't dare laugh, but I did try to lighten the mood a bit. "I don't know if I'll be able to help you," I said, smiling. "I don't even own a tackle box."

Denver scowled, not amused. "I think you can."

He spoke slowly and deliberately, keeping me pinned with that eyeball ignoring the Starbucks groupies coming and going on the patio around us.

"I heard that when white folks go fishin they do somethin called 'catch and release.'"

Catch and release? I nodded solemnly, suddenly nervous and curious at the same time.

"That really bothers me," Denver went on. "I just can't figure it out. 'Cause when colored folks go fishin, we really proud of what we catch and we take it and show it off to everybody that'll look. Then we eat what we catch...in other words, we use it to sustain us. So it really bothers me that white folks would go to all that trouble to catch a fish, then when they done caught it, just throw it back in the water."

He paused again, and the silence between us stretched a full minute. Then: "Did you hear what I said?"

I nodded, afraid to speak, afraid to offend.

Denver looked away, searching the blue autumn sky, then locked onto me again with that drill-bit stare. "So, Mr. Ron, it occurred to me: If you is fishin for a friend you just gon' catch and release, then I ain't got no desire to be your friend."

The world seemed to halt in midstride and fall silent around us like one of those freeze-frame scenes on TV. I could hear my heart pounding and imagined Denver could see it popping my breast pocket up and down. I returned Denver's gaze with what I hoped was a receptive expression and hung on.

Suddenly his eyes gentled and he spoke more softly than before: "But if you is lookin for a real friend, then I'll be one. Forever."

Hiatus Over!

Wow. That was a long break.
I'll try to keep up.
This last week, I had my dad up for a visit. If you'd like to see all we did, click here and see the adventures in Denali National Park. Oh, alright, here's a picture or two!
I have to say, the entire visit was pretty fun. The trip to Denali was good, and though we didn't see the mountain, the wildlife was abundant. The rest of the visit went well, and I'm glad to have had an opportunity to make some positive memories with my dad. There was actually only one stressful time that passed without any regrets, but with my principles stated. I have an idea what parents must go through when their kids are doing things that are less than desirable!

Anyway, I have to say that I have the best small group of women friends who lifted me up all week in prayer. I know their prayers kept me going and protected us from any untamed tongues among other physical threats! I have been so moved by the love I have received from "my" small group. I want to own these gals as family, and I hope they feel the same about me.

It's been a journey to discover my need for girlfriends. I had previously prided myself about my independence from girlfriends, but to what purpose? I have no idea. I guess I had been jaded by adolescent behaviors by girls and wrote them off. I have since learned the value and wisdom of women! I have also since learned that although women are not perfect, we need each other. I have been able to share my feelings, good and bad, and receive advice and prayer. I have also hopefully been able to lift them up. Isn't this what we are designed for? I have been so blessed.

Monday.

Today, I hurt.
Could be worse, but I am sore.
People who pay to work out should move here. There's more to do up here that will kick a person's heine and you can save some dough doing it!
Yesterday a friend of mine had invited my husband and I to join them in the adventure of dipnetting. Dipnetting is a subsistence only form of "fishing" for residents to fill their freezers/cans with salmon. You literally dip a net into the river and scoop up the fish. It sounds a little easier than it is.
First let me share that I tried this fascinatingly ludicrous sport a couple years ago. I joined our Pastor's family and one other family on the banks of the Kenai River, right at the mouth where it empties into the Cook Inlet. We were fortunate to have connections and plop ourselves on private property to avoid the "combat netting" that ensued on the public beach. I was amazed at the amount of people who converge on "my" backyard to scoop the fish. This particular day was not so lovely and I stood up to my chest in my chest waders (only a few inches to spare) in the surf, yes surf, with a long net in my hands hoping to catch a Sockeye, or Red Salmon. To make an ingloriously long story short, it took me 4 hours of standing there to catch one stupid salmon. Oh, and I did get wet. I didn't exactly want to repeat that experience.
Two years later we enter the most recent past when my friend B calls, super excited, and asks if we'd like to go dipnetting! I think excitement is contagious, and I found myself wanting to go! I talked to my man and he even wanted to go! We called back and confirmed our intent to join them in this adventure!
We met them and made it to the river by 8:15 AM or so. It was cool and foggy, but perfect weather when you are wearing rubber rain gear. It didn't take long before Pat landed our first Red. I hadn't known exactly how this worked in a boat, but it was pretty simple. You lower the net as far down as possible (7' depth was our lucky depth) and try to keep it about 6" above the river bottom. Keep in mind that the Kenai River is not a little creek. This is a pretty solid river system that is capable of carrying large numbers of large fish! To hold a net while the boat is slowly purring downstream is an odd feeling to this previously landlocked lass. It was also harder than I thought. My triceps started screaming within a half hour. I started to prop the handle of the net against my body and now have an odd bruise on my stomach. Note to self...use the legs.
We stayed out on the river through the low tide, tide change and then up to the next high tide. This was a long time, but was fascinating to learn how the river works on the tides. The five of us on the boat ended up catching 19 Sockeye, 1 King Salmon, a few Pinks, and a million Sole. Sole is a flat bottom fish that looks like a skate or halibut with prickly scales. We kept a couple to try and discovered that they don't taste bad, but lack a bit in texture. No wonder everyone kept tossing them back. Bummer, though, since they were super plentiful.
I personally caught a few Reds, and many sole, but mostly some rays. My face is burnt. I normally protect my fair skin, but forgot the spf that day. I paid for it. Not only are my arms, shoulders and back telling me of their every move, but I have some seriously tight, dry skin on the face. My moisturizer today was Aloe Vera!
One thing I realized throughout our dipnetting adventure, was that it is so much about the friends, and less about the fish. We had a lovely time getting to know R, B, and E. We were blessed by their procalmations of God's blessings and the way they saw the positive in situations (yes, there were a couple "situations"!). I hope we are able to bless them as much as they blessed us. I also hope we all get some seriously good sleep tonight!

Misty Melting Monday

Today has been a total reversal of the last two fabulously sunny days. It seems that it coincides with my study of Esther and the reversal of destiny that is so prevalent and the topic of Chiastic Structure that was introduced in the study but also brought up by a local Bible teacher! I won't do justice to the definition given in the study, so if you really want to understand the literary term, I highly recommend doing Beth Moore's study of Esther!! There's a roundabout plug. To give an example of it: "Eat to live, don't live to eat." See the reversal? Anyway, the mists have been flowing in all day. Right now I can barely see across our pond. It comes and goes, but having it instead of snow is a positive. The weather is continuing to melt our snow and the bank in front of the house is slowly receeding!

As the snow is slipping away, I am finding my energy return. I went to a friend's son's soccer game the other day. He is four and there is something so sweet about watching 4-5 year old's try to play soccer! They do pretty well, considering, but there was a moment that was extradordinary! Towards the end of the game, one boy had a wide open shot. He wound up and gave it his all; only to find the ball alluding his toes, but finding the heel. He proceeded to trip up and the ball literally cushioned his fall the entire way down. It was perfect. The ball travelled along his body as he fell down, yet never hit the floor hard. All of us in the "crowd" stifled our giggles, and exclamations as his little teammate made his way to help his friend. Then it happened. The 2nd boy had an open shot as well, but his sights were only on his friend. He, the 2nd boy, disregarded all of us in the stands yelling for him to kick the ball, in order to bend down and help his fallen friend. Once he realized the game was going on and his friend was ok, the rest of the kids had made their way to the scene and the shot was no longer open. To my dismay and humbling realization, most of us watching began to bemoan the lost goal opportunity. It hit me immediately that we should have erupted into cheers for that boy's actions, for they showed the best life lesson. I loved how the focus was totally for his friend and the game was completely secondary. Only after the shouts penetrated his conciousness did he mentally return to the game.
I was so convicted. I wondered how often I was "in" the game and didn't stop to help a fallen friend. I knew I had gone right past. I have a tendency to become very task-oriented and narrowly focused. Leave it to a 4-year-old's soccer game to impact me. I truly hope my heart will be melted as the snowbank in my yard and that I will be able to see the friends who need a hand and not bemoan a lost opportunity to further my goals or finish my tasks.