Hello? Hello? Can you hear me now?

This spring, we removed a large tree stump from between our house and garage.  It was no small feat.  In fact, it took a friend's backhoe (yes, we have a friend with his own backhoe) to dig out the surrounding soil, frost included, loosen up the roots with an ax, and then pull it out.  It took hours.  We then had a ton of backfill to do with the pit-run we had delivered earlier.  We had used this pit-run to create a positive drainage situation from our driveway to the backyard, without nearing the house or garage.  To say the least, there was a lot of pit-run.  In case you are not aware, pit-run is a "dirty sand" mixture used to form a base of buildings, driveways, etc.  It's heavy.  It settles.  It worked very well for our purposes.

Well, come to a couple days ago when I got home to find our phone not working.  It said on the receiver, "no line."  Strangely enough, my internet still worked.  Until the next day.

I called the phone company and they suggested I test the line from the exterior box and that they'd put a request in to repair it in a couple of days.  Super.  They did forward my line to my cell phone so I wouldn't miss any calls, which was nice.  

I came home from work and pulled out the princess phone; you know, the one with the "lanyard!"  I took it under the deck and opened the box and plugged the phone line into it.  Nothing.  Well, it looked like they'd be paying for the repairs, right?  Nope.  My handyman hubby came home and realized that our pit-run had pulled the main line out of the box as it settled.  Dang.  It was our fault.  The weight of our solution to our water issue had created a new disconnection.  

I hate it when that happens in my "real" life.  

I have felt so disconnected lately.  My husband can hardly believe that since I am so tied to my computer and phone.  It's not the same, though.  You know.  I wish I had been watching my "phone line" while setting up my solution for my "drainage problem."  Yeah, that's vague.  Sorry.  I'll clarify.  I have a great need to be connected to my family.  I love them tremendously.  They are incredibly valuable to me.  All of them.  I have not been able to spend time with them for a year and 3 months.  I was so set on solving the "problem" of when to come to help my sister with their travel needs to Africa that I pulled the plug on my connection.  This is all my doing.  I don't remember praying about or seeking a way to keep that connection solid, because my focus was on the other.  There's nothing detrimental about it, fortunately.  Just like our phone connection, it can be reconnected and resumed.  I'm just waiting for that to happen!  My connection is vital for me, not because I put them above my husband or that I don't rely on Jesus to meet my needs, but it's because I love them and I want to be a part of their lives.  I miss all the little things, and it's not the same to have to celebrate/grieve/live through big events through the airwaves.  I'm looking forward to the day I walk down the aisle at the airport to see familiar faces, some growing up, and I can feel a bit more connected.

In the meantime, I have been in this holding pattern waiting for our house to sell in order to see what God is going to have us do!  I was shown through our study of Experiencing God, that I need not wait.  He is working right now around me and all I have to do is join Him.  What am I waiting for?  Again I'm focusing on the weighty solution for one issue and it's disconnected me from the most important relationship.  This is a disconnect that can be immediately remedied!

Projects Galore

After we first moved into our house a little over 2 years ago, I painted our bedroom a deep chocolate brown. This was a vast improvement over the intensely bright, pastel/lime green that covered the room. There happens to be one wall that has no windows or doors on it, making it an easy paint! Strangely, I felt the need to dress it up, thankyouverymuch HGTV. I tried 3 different shades of green (trying desperately to avoid a reminder of the lime room it originally was) and settled on one. I never liked it. It just didn't turn out like I'd thought, but since I spent so much money on all the paint and time painting & repainting stripes, I let it go. Until now.
Given our new drive to fix up the house to sell, I pulled out some wall paint that was left over and after my skilled husband cut in by the ceiling and trim (he wouldn't let me do it), I walked into our room. I thought perhaps we should leave it, but in the end, decided the sign must be painted over.

We've been completing several projects of this kind. In fact, I have been painting a spare bedroom that didn't seem so bad until we really took a good look. OK, it didn't take much looking to see the desperate need for fresh walls. And ceiling. And trim. Outlets have been reunited to matching covers as have switches, and holes are being patched. We've also begun the project of painting and siding our garage. That one is a bit bigger project, but going pretty well so far.

Why is it that we are so content to live in a state of disrepair? I'm not saying we are in total disrepair, but we have plenty of projects that we had put off! I find it fascinating that when we want to sell, we put up a front of "finished." I also find it ironic that on our quest to NEED LESS, we have to become super materialistic to prep our home for those who may come see it. It's killing us to have to spend money on things that are so superficial. It's going completely against what we are striving toward. But, we HAVE to sell this house in order to live without a mortgage and be totally debt free!

We have found that many people seem to think we are in the throws of desperation with our finances to resort to such a drastic move. Lest you misplace any prayers, we are not. We are actually trying to avoid any such scenario by removing ALL debt. We have enough to get by for quite a while if necessary. We just live like we're broke until the income starts coming in more regularly! In fact, if we were making a ton of money right now, we would continue our projected course.

I think we are both giddy with excitement over the prospect of living in a tiny home that is all ours and having it grow without debt. We are also feeling like God is preparing us for something even bigger. We can't wait to be free from payments to be able to serve more. We have no idea what this will look like, but we know it will be great! I am mostly excited because my husband is just as excited as I am! It's very encouraging to be excited together! I've seen both our hearts grow in the last year to see people the way God sees them and have compassion. I am so glad I'm a project that God doesn't ever put off. I'm also thankful that God's doing a dual project with us!

Now, where's that roller?

Christmas Past & Future

I often seem to get the post-holiday blahs. It's not yet New Year's Day, so I'm getting it earlier than usual. It does seem to be less severe than last year, though, and for that I am grateful. There just seems to be a huge buildup to Christmas, that it's supposed to be some magical day that makes all our problems go away and everyone is Hallmark Card happy. Unfortunately, that's how I remember Christmas not too many years back. I know it will never be like that again. I'm not complaining, really, it's just that I have grown up and it's different. I will cherish those memories forever and would never change those wonderful holidays.

This year seemed so different. The gift-giving was almost non-existent. We met with no family. We even postponed our usual Christmas Dinner with our friends due to work conflicts. So Christmas was literally just spent with Jesus. I didn't feel sad. It was a lovely day to remember the greatest Gift ever given. I almost felt free from all distractions to give Jesus the whole focus of the day. I say "almost free" because I would have loved to have been celebrating with my family, potential stresses and all.

Honestly, I don't stress about Christmas. I haven't for a few years now. Probably because I haven't been Outside for one in as many years. I have come to realize that if I want to give a gift to someone I will, and I will disregard the cost (it's usually not expensive!) or the issue of if I've been given a reciprocal gift. I don't stress about the receiver's response to my gift. If they are unthankful, that is not my problem. I simply wanted them to know I was thinking of them. I often think of how Mary received the somewhat impractical gifts of gold (ok, maybe not so impractical), frankincense and myrrh. Clearly, Mary and Joseph had no means of reciprocating in equal, neither did they feel compelled to show how they would use the gifts in the future. That wasn't the point. The gifts were given to show honor to the recipient: Jesus (God's ultimate Gift!), even in infant form. If this is what our Christmas gifts to each other represent, then the

heart attitudes behind the gifts should be the most important and the gift itself is rather secondary.

I also don't worry about time spent at certain locations. I refuse to allow the thought that I am in charge of keeping anything even. I have deeper relationships with certain family members and happen to have things in common with others. I will not feel guilty if someone feels slighted. I often feel that if a visit feels obligatory, then it will not be nearly as enjoyable and the desire for it to be repeated will certainly wane. Quality over quantity is not just a cliche, but true for us both. That said, there are definitely efforts to spend time with as many family and friends as possible, but I just don't stress over it. I am just happy to see them at all! It's a compliment, I think, to

have family or friends want to spend time with you. And we also understand when people

cannot. We never expect everyone to drop everything, just for us. If it works, great! If not, there will be another time!

Our decorations and all are cleaned up and gone, with only a few candy canes from our friend's house to tell of this Christmas past. We have few gifts to reign in, which is likely due to the fact that we have no kids! We have felt a particular need to let go of the material. Let me explain.

Throughout the holiday season, my husband has had some sparse work days. You are aware of our fundraising drive that he was able to lead in because of that lull. This lull has also jarred us to the feeling of enslavement to our banker. We have discovered that we have loved the

opportunity to raise money for someone other than our banker, and are feeling more and more led to change our lifestyle in order to allow this to happen more frequently. In a move that seems quite backwards, we are considering selling our beautiful and beloved home, and living on only that for which we can pay cash. This means using any profit from the sale of our home to

purchase land and build a home, likely a small cabin to start. Let me specify: we would not take out any loans to pay for anything. Our home would only consist of what we could pay for in cash. The plan allows for additions to be made, but only as our funds allow or as we choose for them to allow. We have a sneaking suspicion that as we have been made so acutely aware of the needs of people in this world, we may be led to forgo some of our comforts to feed a child, give water to a village, provide livestock for a family, or even to go and help those in need.

This concept is actually quite common up here, though not usually for the same reasons. I don't even know that my husband and my reason's are quite the same! I do know that this seems strange to me and even more strange that I'm so compelled to do it. My man is loving the idea of actually working for something as opposed to working off that same thing. This would give us the opportunity to own our home fully at all times, regardless of what is going on economically. We would not be enslaved to our banker, as nice as she is! It would free us up financially to travel when the work is slow, as well as allowing the opportunity to go on an extended mission trip if God leads. Financially it would be incredibly freeing. I can't imagine not having a mortgage or rent, and I absolutely LOVE to see numbers increasing in accounts. I love it so much that I'm

almost on the "hoarder" side of things, but I believe that I'll be fine when I get to see how it will be used.

Neither one of us is a big spender in general. We are not in debt, other than our property. We do not misuse credit cards or other means of credit, and we pay our bills on time or early. We know that mortgages have come to be an acceptable form of debt, but we feel God is pushing us away from this idea. I will not say this is for everyone, because I don't know what God is telling others. I do know that He is clear in His Word about debt and that it should be avoided if possible. We feel that it is possible for us, though it will mean a major change in our lifestyle.

I truly love our home, but I don't love it more than being obedient. I can only imagine what God will place in our hands if we open them to let go of this home. Imagine the possibilities! Pray for us as we continue to seek His direction and Praise Him for providing our Daily Bread!

Yes, this Christmas has much less of the blah's and much more anticipation! As I strive to give Jesus the whole of my heart, mind, soul, and strength, I just wonder what He'll do with it next.